7 Essential Questions to Ask Yourself for Self-Healing
“I would love to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.” – John O’Donohue
Ten years ago my brother Marky turned 25 years old. It was his last birthday on earth before he passed.
His death — no, his life — taught me many things.
For one, he taught me that life comes in moments and each moment matters. How you approach what feels challenging, how you treat others, and how fully you embrace the time you have — it speaks of what you carry in your heart.
If he carried anything, he carried the light. His heart was that big.
How he lived his life in the short time he was here will guide how I live the rest of my own life. In a sense, he is my lighthouse.
In honor of Mark, I try to be an advocate for how we each of us care for our lives.
Over the last decade I've learned that asking yourself the right questions can be a powerful way to get to know what you really want (and need) in life.
The right questions can help you confront your wounds with curiosity and tell your story with dignity. You grow a greater sense of self-trust and resiliency by answering those questions consistently.
This is a mindfulness practice, a way to show up for your life with intent and heart.
When it comes to your own self-healing, it's critical that you identify what feels supportive, what you should let go of, when you need help, and what you want to carry forward with you.
These questions are daily reminders to put your heart into the smaller moments of your life, to fill your life with attention, to offer yourself what you need to heal.
They might bring out the need for forgiveness, or the need to put something down that you've been carrying for far too long.
They might bring up old memories that need mending in the present moment.
They might bring forth new ideas and new ways to navigate life after — life after loss, life after rock bottom, life after a life of coldness.
Write your questions down on paper, ask your reflection in the mirror, meditate on them, or just think about them throughout the day. They're simple enough to remember but essential enough to cause an unfolding in you.
Self-reflection and inquiry can be beautiful, and it can also be challenging.
In all your questions and all your answers, I wish space for your heart to beat and your lungs to breathe. May deep breaths carry you through. This and every day, may you find a certain truth in all the crevices of your life: you are valuable.
7 Essential Questions to Ask Yourself (On the Daily) for Self-Healing
1. How is my heart today?
2. How can I help you today? Or, What do I need to feel supported today?
(Book suggestion: How Can I Help? by Ram Dass & Paul Gorman)
3. In what minuscule way can I be a better version of myself today?
(FYI, sometimes being "better" is actually about being truer.)
4. Who might I be if I knew everything would be alright?
5. Where could I notice beauty today?
6. What do I want to pay attention to today? Or, What matters to me today?
7. How can I love today? Or, How have I loved today?
. . .
Tell me, friend, if you can:
Which of your answers to which of these prompts did you need to get out in the open?
Tell me in the comments. What you share here might turn out to be exactly the thing someone else needs to see.
Remember: the simplest thing might be exactly the thing you need.
With care,
Jen
P.S. Grab your own copy of my book Morning Affirmations to help you start each day with an open, curious heart.
Comments on this post (8)
My heart today feels hopeful. I am still grieving my relationship with my abusive ex. I was trauma bonded for 5 years and I still feel sad from time to time, missing the person that I thought he could have been. However, I know that when I feel that way, those are temporary emotions. I understand I just need to continue to check in with myself and do things that make me happy. I need to continuously remind myself of my purpose and to show up for myself and my son with “…intent and heart.”, we can do this!
- sending a virtual hug to you all, good luck to you all on your healing journey!
— Jewels
How is my heart today? I feel extremely defeated and numb inside i have to come to accept after the call i got yesterday that my future crumbled right in front of my very eyes.
— Terra
How is my heart today?
Today my heart is heavy, I am grateful for my life and everyone in it but I feel alone. I’m drowning in depression, I am tired. My heart is tired….But I have kids and for them I will work hard to get out of this whole I will keep ttrying to climb out of it.
— Denik
How is my heart today? I feel numb, but still able to love even if i dont recieve any love back, I know that my heart is big wanting to be loved but I love more. My heart is numb but everyday we’re fixing on the healing, the self love, the hatred, and being myself without the approval of anyone or anything. I matter the most.
— christine
Susan, oh, yes! I feel all those ways all the time. Sometimes everything all in one hour. We’re complex but, I think, very much together and connected and part of something much greater than the pain and fear and struggle. Thank you for being on the journey, and for answering and sharing your heart. It’s everything. x
— Jennifer Williamson
How is my heart today? Some days it is heavy, feels like a stone, and like there is no one in the world that understands my grief. Other days my heart goes out to others who have lost someone and are on their grief journey. We are all on a journey from grief to joy. Some journeys are longer than others. May we all be blessed with joy.
Susan
— Susan
How is my heart today? My heart is heavy and drowning in negative moments that keep my heartt restricted from being able to love and be loved.
— Kim
For me, being better, being truer noticing beauty and love each day.
— Jim