Grief certainly isn’t a straight, paved road. It’s more of a pothole-y dirt road that makes you question civilization. To help you navigate the twists and turns (and the deep holes), I penned some grief affirmations that I hope will comfort you as you continue this journey—comfort that stems from the understanding that you are understood.
“There is no pushing through. But rather, there is absorption. Adjustment. Acceptance. And grief is not something you complete, but rather, you endure. Grief is not a task to finish and move on, but an element of yourself—an alteration of your being. A new way of seeing. A new definition of self.” — Gwen Flowers
No matter what sort of heartbreak is happening, the world has this tendency to keep chugging along. Fortunately and unfortunately (how can I know for certain?), there are people who understand, who walk similar paths, who wonder and plead and learn how to be better instead of bitter.
For me, I’ve come to recognize the sense of unity that comes from being dealt a “blow of fate.” Wow, so many people know how I feel. The thing is, though, I don’t realize who knows how I feel until they tell me, until we share stories, until I ask or they offer—there’s so much room for understanding.
I do know that the further I walk down this healing path, and every time I step out of a pothole I somehow fell into (again), the deeper my sense of connection with the fellow souls who share my sorrows. The deeper my sense of connection with my brother and father, the losses that have been engraved on my heart, the love that runs like a river through every crack in my foundation.
Grief likes to make us think we’re alone and cursed, but, really, we feel so desolate because a piece of what we thought we knew has fallen off. We thought this couldn’t happen to us, or we were meant for something else, or we could never live without this person, and other things. But, really, that piece can fall and we can still stand, taller, more deeply rooted in who we can be.Even loss can make us build ourselves anew with a larger perspective. What a paradox that is. Click To Tweet
Well, since I’m still walking, and you probably are, too, or maybe you know someone who’s walking and you want to be of greater service to them (thank you), these grief affirmations are for us all. They’re messages of unity, for none of us walk alone. They’re messages of hope, for perhaps in that unity, we are connected to the loving essence of who we lost in a way so true that the only thing we really lost was what we thought we knew…
One other thing I do know: I am connected to the people I lost because I have felt them greet me, meet me, on a level deeper than a physical hug. It sure felt like a hug. It sure felt like I wasn’t alone.
Anyway, I hope these grief affirmations pour a little love into the thirsty valleys in your heart. You are here and breathing, and it is still your turn—to honor, to connect, to get back up again, to question, to go deeper, to serve, and to figure out how much more the word “love” can be.
5 Grief Affirmations, for My Fellow Survivors and Healing Hearts
1. I heal with curiosity, presence, and hope.
The road to healing is bumpy, but I am learning to be nimble. The path is winding, but I am willing to be present with every curve. Though it’s not the easiest path to walk, I am learning how to walk this way and remain available to peace in my heart. I tread gently on the earth, but not because I live in fear: I roam with curiosity and hope in my soul. I heal and grow as I go.When it comes to walking the healing path, I've learned that hand-in-hand is the best way to go. Click To Tweet
2. Grief gives me wings with which I spread love.
Grief takes me higher, expands my perspective, and gives me wings to soar into new ways of living my life. I am learning how much brighter I can shine because I have known the darkness. I keep learning how much lighter I can become. I am leaving an imprint of love wherever I go; this is how I honor my loved one.
3. I am always healing, and never alone.
Healing is an honor. I have survived something never to be wished on another human being, but still, I am not alone in what I know. However isolating my suffering pretends to be, it’s a shared experience with countless other souls. I walk this path, healing as I go, knowing I do not walk alone.The greatest illusion of suffering is that we're utterly alone. We are not. Click To Tweet
4. Grief is a call for me to wake up and live, and love, even more.
Grief can be a guide, too. Because of what I’m going through, I choose to highlight the beauty that life still has to give. I choose to follow the path that makes me feel alive and part of the miracle of being at all. How I now live is how I choose to give something better to the world. I ask myself, “How can I love well today?” and I take each day as just one day.
5. My life is now a celebration of their life.
The love we have shared is still the love that we share; this is the foundation of life, and this has no end. I absorb their loving essence and let them breathe through me, walk through me, speak through me, and be with me. My loved one is always a presence in my heart, a bright spot in my mind, and a guide in everyday life. With each step, I honor them.How you live is what you have to give, and it is still your turn to learn how you can. Click To Tweet
If you could share one insight or message with someone else who’s healing, what would you offer?
Please share which grief affirmations touched your heart, practices that help you stay afloat in times of struggle, how you’re healing, how you’re loving, and any stories with me in the comments.
Pour some love into someone’s life today; send them these grief affirmations as a way of saying, “I’m with you.”
Have mercy on your own soul.