The more we tell the truth about what we’ve gone through and are still going through, the easier it is to trust ourselves. That’s been my experience, anyway. I think that’s because sharing is daring to discover who we can be beyond any one story. Bearing your heart and soul: that’s one of the bravest ways to heal and grow.
Sharing what hurts reminds me of something my dad once said to me, something that’s showing up for me a lot lately. He said: “We rebuild, together.”
This might resonate with you, too, if you’re finding yourself in a time of chaos or crisis, or you’re stepping into a new and beautiful chapter of life. We know the phrase “sharing is caring,” but I’ve been thinking of some of the other things that sharing can be.
Sharing is daring.
Sharing is daring. It asks us to not be ashamed of our story because it might just inspire someone else. It says we have a gift to share, so don’t downplay that message.
When it comes to healing from tragedy and trauma of all depths, sharing yourself is part of the journey. You’re not just moving forward by letting your truths be seen and your stories be heard, but you’re also moving inward.
Sharing is an act of great courage when it requires vulnerability. It’s not easy to send your story out into the world. Sure, these days it’s easy to share one’s opinions online, posting for the whole world to see: some of that is bravado (that’s easy to see), but some are braving their most vulnerable selves, baring their souls — half agony, half hope, like Jane Austen wrote.
Those baring their souls are the ones who are learning how to find safety in their vulnerability. That’s how we find refuge in each other.
Sharing is rebuilding, together.
Together, we rise and thrive. Belonging is wired into our beings. Relationships fueled by trust and truth-telling — those are the ones that carry us forward, and inward. We need this connection. Oh, do we need this.“Tell the story of the mountain you climbed. Your words could become a page in someone else's survival guide.” – Morgan Harper Nichols #healing Click To Tweet
A while back, I wrote the following short poem, never, until now, finding the right setting in which to share it (ironic, considering the topic):
The pain of being ordinary is almost
Too much to bear.
You have to hold it all in —
It’s not extraordinary enough to share.
I don’t think we need to have gone through the most terribly upsetting things in order to share the story of what we love, believe in, fear, hope for — who we are. We’re undeniably unique, even in the subtlest, most seemingly ordinary ways. Sharing ourselves openly gives us the courage to dig deeper into every little thing that makes us who we are — there is always, always something extraordinary there.
Sharing isn’t just about expressing, then: it’s self-discovery.
Sharing is daring to discover oneself, openly.
What makes us unique finds common ground in others that we’ll only find if we’re brave enough to share ourselves. Discovering ourselves is bound to lead us to the discovery of what unites us.
Our struggles could come bearing gifts for someone else. Our agony and our hope together will fuel the restoration of many souls. We’ll see just how much light we can bring and be a mirror for.
All of this is to say to you: don’t hide what might heal. Your story makes the world more well-rounded, more real. The way you express some aspect of your journey — whether it’s through a poem, art, conversation, act of kindness — could be exactly what someone needs to see or hear or read or feel. It doesn’t even matter if it’s been shared by someone else before: if it’s never been shared by you, it’s a new tale to be told.
Cry those tears of truth. Send that email that reveals a little bit more of you than you usually do. Dare to bring your darkness to the light. No matter how much darkness is in you, or what you’ve made it through, or what you’re still going through, the greater agony is in not sharing it.“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” — Maya Angelou #healing tell a friend
If one person benefits from what you’ve gone through, from the story you have to tell, that would be enough. It’s not about portraying yourself as a victim.
Sharing is about daring to release your tight grip on what hurts. It’d consume you otherwise. What drives you to secrecy and shame is not what happened, but how you hold on to it afterward.
Sharing is letting go of every “should” and opening up to all the ways you can be seen, shame taking a backseat. From there, you have a chance at real freedom. Wonder replaces isolation. Vulnerability becomes your safety net. You get to live.
Read this next: Brene Brown quotes about vulnerability, shame & belonging.
In the comments below, tell me:
What have you held on to that you can share a little bit more about, for the sake of healing?
Share this. With someone you trust. Dare to open up.
Only ever love,