Instead of resorting to the same old “How was your day?” let’s ask questions that inspire more meaningful and enjoyable end-of-day conversations with our loved ones. I have some ideas to help us celebrate and support the people we share our homes and lives with.
“When someone else’s happiness is your happiness, that is love.” — Lana Del Rey
Generosity is love. Love is generosity.
“How was your day?” can symbolize your willingness to be present with someone else’s thoughts and feelings, and that in itself is a gesture of generosity. But if this question lacks your aware presence of heart and mind, it can come across as lazy and feel stagnant for both you, the giver, and the person you’re posing the question to, the receiver.
With the questions I’m proposing below, perhaps the most important thing to keep in mind is that your presence is just as powerful as the question itself, maybe even more so.
The people we’re closest to and fondest of deserve our undivided attention and sincere support. That’s how we keep relationships strong, by being 100% there during the ordinary moments of daily life.
It’s easy to make a half-hearted routine out of “How was your day?”
Let’s try something different, in the name of love.Asking higher quality questions elicits more helpful answers. tweet this
After sharing alternatives to the “What do you do?” question that often leads conversations with people we’ve just met, I was inspired to rethink the way I’ve been greeting my boyfriend after he comes home from a long day of work.
To fortify and enrich the bonds that tie us to the ones we hold dear, consider asking any of the following questions instead of the usual “How was your day?”
You only need to choose one, or maybe two or three, at a time.
The aim is not to fix their problems but to invite them to think through their day and extract something valuable from it, even if it was a particularly frustrating day. The goal is to hold a supportive space for the highs and lows, to reinforce successful strategies, to celebrate their joys, and to offer empathy where needed.
The whole idea is to ask better questions that elicit answers with more depth, detail, and emotion.
20 Questions to Ask Besides “How Was Your Day?” for Richer Conversations
1. What was the best part of your day?
2. Is there a frustrating moment or struggle that you’d like to get off your chest?
3. Now that you’re home, is there anything I can do to help you?
4. How are you really feeling today?
5. Tell me three good things about today.“Giving someone your undivided attention is one of the most generous things you can do.” — Ali B. Moe inspire a friend
6. Did you receive any good news today?
7. What’s something you’re grateful for having seen, heard, or been a part of?
8. Did you see anything beautiful where you didn’t expect to?
9. What songs did you listen to today?
10. Did you listen to an audiobook or a podcast? What was it about?
11. Did you read anything interesting today?
12. Did you learn anything new?
13. What’s the best conversation you had today?
14. What are you most proud of today?
15. Did you get the chance to help anyone today?“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But when you listen, you may learn something new.” — Dalai Lama remind a friend
16. Did anyone help you with something today?
17. Did you get any compliments today?
18. Did you make any good connections with your coworkers/customers/clients/coach/boss today?
19. Are there any victories you’d like to share?
20. What did you spend most of your time doing/thinking about today?
Which of these questions helped you make a deeper, richer connection with your loved one?
Share your own alternatives to asking “How was your day?” and any stories or insights with me in the comments.
Send these questions over to a friend who would love to experiment!
If you ask the right questions, you might be surprised by how much you learn.