Maybe the greatest of my personal life truths has to do with the word “journey” itself. Isn’t this whole thing a journey, and how can we live by that, carrying it in our hearts so we don’t get crushed by failure or heartbreak? From my own travels with grief and growth, I have three lessons I’m still learning to absorb—they have to do with presence, progress, and relationships.
“Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.” — David Richo
That quote reminds me that as I’m healing and growing, usually tripping over my own feet, I’m given so many chances to start something new. That “one more chance” is, more often than not, to see things in a different light and to be easier on myself as I learn how to live.
I’ve learned that some obstacles seem to be plopped in my path to teach me a lesson in love. Can I see through the haze of grief to the love I still have to give, and receive? How can I love deeper because of this pain? Who can I help?
The places that hurt the most need the most love. The people who hurt, too.
I’m feeling a little nostalgic today, so instead of dwelling upon the mistakes I’ve made, I’m plucking the lessons those mistakes have graced me with. I hope they help you question how best you can move forward today.
3 Life Truths from My Healing Journey (and What I’m Still Learning)
1. Presence matters a whole lot.
We might not be able to control every aspect of the length of our lives. What we can control is the depth of our lives.
How can you live more deeply?
For me, it feels like I’m constantly being taught how to stay, how not to run away from discomfort—how to want to be here. Wanting to be “there” instead of here is the ultimate cause of inner conflict, and it steals peace.“Happiness is a continuation of happenings which are not resisted.” @DeepakChopra Click To Tweet
It takes awareness to experience life’s depths and nuances. You can practice staying whenever you look out the window at the trees, water, birds, or mountains. You can practice being fully alive whenever you look within and see that your thoughts are just thoughts; they are not you.
For me, it’s about being real and honest with myself when I’m not happy to be in this moment. The whole of life always comes down to this moment. When I can see that, it’s hard not to be happy for this chance to breathe.
2. Progress beats perfection.
Nobody will ever eat, sleep, speak, and breathe your life like you will. You’re meant to be here just as you are right now. Our idiosyncrasies are meant to be expressed, for they are what make us genuine and real.
We can care deeply about the quality of what we create and have high standards for ourselves, but perfectionism will suffocate our soul if we let it. We’ll spend so much energy trying to get it perfect, but the truth is that there’s no shame in growing and improving our work.
Also, why wait until we’re 100% ready to do something we really want to do? Timing rarely seems perfect, but I don’t think it’s really meant to. Starting before we’re ready and everything is perfect—enjoying life anyway—is a testament to the human spirit.
We are resilient. We heal. We grow, if we stay with the lessons, and we can find joy anywhere so long as we learn how to create it.
If we were to always wait until we felt totally comfortable with our plan before living our lives, we’d never get to live.
If we were always wishing to be something else, we’d never get to find out who we really are.The purpose of life is the expression of authenticity and the extension of love. These two things keep us alive. Click To Tweet
Can we be okay with being less than polished and perfect? Maybe how we live with our imperfections will inspire others.
Can we honor the journey without worshipping the finish line? That’s huge.
Ultimately, it’s not really about the mistake; it’s about how we rise back up and make it through the wall that shows off who we really are.
3. Relationships are fuel.
We want to feel like we’re really living this life and that’s just not possible without healthy relationships.
We need real, loving connections with other humans to be happy.
Most days, I’d pick reading and writing over spending time with people, even though I love them! I’m realizing more and more that, no matter how introverted one might be, friendships and connections are absolutely vital to happiness.We don’t crave perfection; we crave genuine connection. Click To Tweet
Our relationships can be the greatest platforms for growth and healing, or they can seem like sources of great frustration. Pay attention, though, and you’ll see that your relationships reveal what’s already inside you. The state of our relationships is never one-sided and often illuminates what needs to be healed.
How can we reach out in small ways every day to a few trusted friends and build those relationships in meaningful ways?
How can we give the very things we’d like to receive?
How can we let people be who they are without trying to change, correct, or fix them?
We know this ancient, eternal law: that hatred never ceases by hatred, but by love alone is it healed. How can we be instruments of peace today, examples of compassion today, symbols of love?
We are mirrors reflecting mirrors, and that is rather beautiful and touching when we begin to understand what that might mean.
- Which of these life truths resonate with you?
- Are there any other gems of wisdom you’ve plucked from your journey?
- What has helped you heal?
Please share your thoughts, life truths that you can speak to, the one piece of advice you would offer someone who’s just beginning to heal, and any stories of transformation with me in the comments. I’d love to hear them.
Be a beacon of light for someone else today; send them my life truths to provoke their own.
You’re capable of healing from practically anything (yes, maybe everything). Just be easy on yourself while you’re doing it.