I truly believe you are beautiful–not despite your hardships, but because of the brokenness you have felt. Here are a few thoughts on why I think so…
“When you recognize that you will thrive not in spite of your losses and sorrows, but because of them, that you would not have chosen the things that happened in your life, but you are grateful for them, that you will hold the empty bowls eternally in your hands, but you also have the capacity to fill them? The word for that is healing.” — Cheryl Strayed
Disentangling from the Suffering
Most, if not all, of us have gone through something that has changed our lives forever. It’s not who we are now because of that something that brings suffering, though–it’s who we think we should be. If we can release the “should” element in our existence, we can embrace a new way of being, regardless and because of what we’ve been through.
The notion of should causes much undue suffering.
We may not have wanted to experience the pain we did, of course, and we may not want the wounds we have now. Yet, the wounds of our past are not the cause of our suffering now (even though it feels right to blame them). Our suffering is born, and sustains itself, when we identify ourselves with our wounds.
If we honor our wounds for where they came from–without the need to erase them–we can disentangle ourselves from continued suffering. We can recognize that the hurt is in us, but it’s not us. The grief is part our experience, but Grief is not our name. The question becomes, “Can I begin to create space around my wound for healing?”
With this space, we have breathing room to be okay with the wound being there now. We don’t have to fight against the wound; we can work with the space. This space is a place where the light can enter.
Light and Dark are Inseparable
The idea of perfection is an exhausting and defeating tale. The truth is that optimism is sprinkled with grief, good things happen in the wake of trauma, tragedy is not without its beauty, the lines on our faces are marks of a long life, and the creases near our eyes are signs that we have smiled generously.
We live in a world of duality, not perfection. Dark and light coexist in every single scenario, always. Some beautiful moments are brought forth only through dark times, and some negative consequences inevitably arise from good choices.
There is no light without the darkness, and vice versa, because it is all one. When we invite into this world of duality the idea of oneness, we begin to curate love in even the most unlikely places. This is because beauty is an inherent quality of life, and it exists within everything, whether it’s buried or easy to see.
You Are Beautiful Because You Know What It’s Like to Feel Broken
Instead of covering up our scars, what would happen if we embraced them for what they are? Rather than beating ourselves up for the scars we already bear, what if we honored the wholeness of who we are still?
There’s an ancient Japanese art, known as Kintsukuroi, that involves the repair of broken pottery with gold. Instead of being labeled as “imperfect beyond repair,” the pieces are mended with love, and they’re considered unique and even more valuable than they previously were. What was once shattered now has a new chance at life, with a history sealed in gold and presented to the world, reborn.
This ancient practice notes the intrinsic connection between frailty and resilience, of being broken and healing, of how an ending and a beginning are each truly a continuation of each other. This practice is a lesson in acceptance, rebirth, and celebration of the imperfections that give our lives depth.
I love how Kris Carr puts it on her blog: The crack in our heart creates space for gold.
Our brokenness is not without its beauty. The beauty lies in our resilience and our willingness to begin again, this time with newfound wisdom, strength, and perspective. The healing gold of love transforms our wounds into opportunities to deeply understand the meanings of compassion, gratitude, and connection.
Through our hardships, we can grow kinder, not bitter. Through the lessons we’re assigned, we can begin to see that perhaps being cracked open was a necessary measure for the light to come through and reorganize our lives. Denying this lesson by identifying with our wounds would bring suffering. Accepting the assignment and identifying with the love that’s part of the wound would bring healing.
I believe this: You are beautiful because you have been broken, not in spite of the cracks. I believe that’s true for us all, if we only believe it for ourselves. For when we believe that beauty can exist anywhere, in anything, regardless and because of the imperfections, we will certainly see our beliefs take form.
- What positive outcomes have been born from otherwise painful events in your life?
- Can you think of a moment, a situation, or an outcome that was laced with light and dark?
- When has suffering been transformed into a powerful lesson in love?
- Are you willing to allow the space for healing to circulate?
Please share your thoughts, loving insights, lessons in setbacks and comebacks, and any healing stories with me in the comments.
Share this post with someone you care about, who might appreciate the message.
You are beautiful outside because there is gold inside.
Free gold texture by Gold and Berry; lettering by Aim Happy.