What might happen if you let go of some of those things you intuitively know are weighing you down? Would you have more room to breathe, more space for spontaneous helping? Perhaps you could more wholly enjoy the present. I’ve learned that there’s surely always something worth letting go on the path of evolving consciousness; when we feel lighter, we love better.
“By letting it go, it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try the world is beyond winning.” – Lao Tzu
What intellectual or behavioral patterns have you been holding, that feel like they’re holding you? What recurring sufferings are you ready to soften, lighten, lessen, transmute?
Is there something, however subtle or strong, that, even if it used to be of service to you then, is no longer readying you for your next level of life, growth, and contribution?
Embracing the lightheartedness of the spirit, here are five heavy things I believe aren’t worth their weight, at least not anymore.
5 Heavy (Exhausting, Not Necessarily Helpful) Patterns Worth Letting Go
1. Concentrating on the unchangeable.
Not everything in life is meant to be modified by us—in this very moment, all at once, all by ourselves. Of course, we should never give up on what makes us come alive, but to keep worrying about changing what’s not necessarily ours to change at the moment will only deplete our energy and limit what we can do.
Focus on the things you can change; the things you can’t change right now (and it might require a bit of courage and honesty to observe your role in these areas) could probably use more faith than you’ve previously allotted to them.
If we can’t change what we don’t like, we still have the ability to change the way we think about it. In any case, I think one of life’s greatest teachings is how to be grateful for what is now, enthusiastic for what’s yet to be, and gracious in the “in-between.”
2. Focusing on what’s wrong.
Ruminating on the wrongs in life without posing a solution is like quicksand: it doesn’t take long to get stuck, consumed by the “wrongs” we’ve encountered.
Life tends to amplify what we energize in the mind. The more we focus on one thing, the bigger that thing becomes. We could wish to have a certain something, but if we’re energetically, truly focusing on how we don’t have it, then life will amplify the lack of that certain something.
Focus your thoughts on what you DO want, on what you’re capable of acquiring, and of what it would FEEL like to have it, now.
What’s “not wrong” in your life? What do you want to experience more of? How can you approach change from a place of “already enough,” “already loving,” “already abundant?” Which strengths can you build on?The art of attraction is founded on the deliberate attention you pay to what you love. Click To Tweet
What we find is largely determined by what we’re looking for. If we’re so fixated on the weeds, it’s likely we’ll fail to see the beauty of the rest of the garden. Sometimes, we need to take a step back so we can see the bigger picture—so we can see what’s right, and so we can see the light.
3. Comparing and competing.
Though competition might be fun to watch in the sports arena, it’s not reflective of our true nature, and what we’re here to give (not just receive).
Blaming and shaming will never serve your sense of peace and joy. Blaming yourself (and others) for not living up to your standards hinders your capacity to connect in compassion. Comparing your “inside” to someone else’s “outside,” too, is a great way to make yourself unhappy.Nothing in nature blooms all year, so be patient with this season of your life. Click To Tweet
We are each on our own schedule, and sometimes we’re blooming in different seasons—that’s more than okay. What’s right for someone else right now may not be right for you right now.
You are enough and you are beautiful in a way that only you can be; you weren’t incarnated into this lifetime to be something you’re not, but to heal the parts of you that believe you’re meant to be something else.
Practice rejoicing in another’s joy and success, because every single expression of abundance is reflective of the light that’s also in you. We are all made of the same stuff, and the potentiality is always infinite for each of us, for everything.
4. Valuing perfection above all else.
Just for this moment, see what it feels like to embrace everything, even your mistakes, because you’re not alone when it comes to making them. Again, life is a journey. We’re all constantly evolving on this dirt path, and one person’s idea of perfection is certainly not everyone’s.
Perfection is, by definition, exclusive, and therefore can never paint a complete picture of the whole, one, all-inclusive truth.
Tossing aside what you think you know and how you think things should be, you’re liberated from the prison of perfection. Maybe this situation isn’t terrible; might it be terribly beautiful, or beautifully terrible, at the least? There’s another way to look at everything, is what I’m saying. We’re here to chisel at the one truth and understand more deeply our preferences.There are many paths to the same destination; if none are perfect, all are perfect. Click To Tweet
Try not to let opinions and ideals hold you back from expressing yourself as creatively and authentically as you feel.
5. The idea that letting go of pain means banishing the love.
If it comes time to let go of the weight of a painful relationship (with another person, or a pattern)—and you will intuitively know when it’s time—you can still retain the love.
Letting go of a feeling doesn’t mean letting go of the person associated with that feeling. If we propose dissolving the suffering associated with the passing of a loved one, for example, we don’t lose the love we have shared with them; all love given and received remains.
Love is not a finite resource and it’s not something we can dole out as we please; it’s always here and it’s always everywhere. It is Life. It cannot be banished or destroyed, perhaps only forgotten or pinched off.Letting go of our suffering doesn't put love to an end; it puts love first. Click To Tweet
Choosing a more loving approach to a particular season or situation actually expands our view of how our world can operate.
If we operate more lovingly, putting love above all else, what’s not loving (which always hurts, constricts, suffocates) will eventually lose its foothold. When we become more spacious inside—more at ease and connected to what we enjoy, rather than feeling “tied down” in any way—life feels lighter all over.
- What are you consciously letting go of (little by little) during this season of your life?
- Can you think of two “things” that you’ve released in the past, that weren’t readying you for the life you wanted, which supported new growth and contribution?
Please share your thoughts, lessons in letting go of what’s not “right enough” for you right now, and any helpful or hopeful stories of positive growth with me in the comments.
Share these hopeful messages with someone who’s readying themselves for a new season of life.
When faced with the prospect of loss, never fail to honor the transition of all things; where there is something to lose (by choice, consequence, any reason or no reason at all), there becomes space for something new.