The true healing power of forgiveness resides within, dormant until we consciously awaken its potential. Forgiveness brings many things, but above all it releases others from our ropes, releasing us from having to drag around the weight of every attack. Yes, the choice to forgive is a conscious, ongoing process—not usually brief. The longer we hold a grudge, the longer it usually takes for a grudge to stop holding us. There’s hope in the struggle, though; especially there.
“The most important lesson on the road to spiritual maturity is how to truly forgive. No one likes to be held in their history, especially people trying to make themselves better.” – Lisa Prosen
Forgiveness Releases You from Energetic Cords
When you forgive, you’re giving a gift of mental, emotional, and spiritual freedom to yourself.
When we don’t forgive, we keep alive those energy cords that bind us to the person that hurt us, or to the pain itself. Not forgiving holds us back from experiencing the full range of positive emotions, because the energy we might otherwise devote to living joyously in our own experience is being used up on a particularly painful experience that we can no longer control.
Expending all that energy on making sure the cords are intact is exhausting, to say the least.
Just to make sure we’re on the same page, forgiveness definitely doesn’t mean we condone certain behavior or allow any further abuse. Forgiveness and trust are separate issues, too; we don’t need to trust someone or something in order to forgive, and we don’t need to invite someone over for tea because we’ve decided to cut the cords of suffering.
We forgive to free others because it means we are freed. The cord that once kept us bound to the attacker/attack, when cut, releases both sides from the relationship built on suffering.Forgiveness is a vital spiritual and emotional practice, if we want to see what we're capable of. Click To Tweet
Forgiveness is also the realization that we’re all expressions of the same thing: Life energy. That energy is all over the place, visible and invisible, palpable and unmanifested. We can honor the connection we share with all beings, all people, and all things without befriending particular expressions. By expressions, I mean behaviors, attack, hatred, bullying, murder, and all manifestations of fear.
We can befriend our shared humanity, realizing that, at our core, we are more alike than we are dislike. We can heal the perception of separation through forgiveness. We can say namaste, “I honor the light in you which is also in me,” and continue to embrace the qualities and expressions of humanity that we do condone. To hold a grudge is to resist what we don’t agree with, which feeds resistance. To forgive is to promote what we love, which fuels more love in our lives.
Forgiveness is about taking a heroic stance, to deny victimhood, and to embrace what we actually do want to experience.Forgiveness is the ultimate gift because it's yours to give and yours to receive. Click To Tweet
Forgiveness is the decision to devote more energy to loving your own life, right now, than to feeding the negative energy of the initial insult. This is a beginning.
Forgiveness Offers Freedom from the Past
The power of forgiveness continues as it transforms your perception of the past and prepares the energy of tomorrow, and it does this all in the present moment, which happens to be where your point of power is.
This is the time you take back your power. This is the place where you can make a difference.
To follow through with your pact to honor your power in the present moment:
- Be willing to forgive yourself for “being naive,” “letting this happen,” or not wanting to forgive.
- Take inventory of the situation as it happened and unfolded. Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this and how can I grow because of this?”
- Be willing to forgive the person/situation. There’s a slight shift in energy when you go from “No way am I ever forgiving” to “I don’t know how, but I’m willing to forgive and be free;” that’s the shift that makes all the difference.
There’s potential for a miracle in every conscious attempt at forgiveness. The miracle is simply a shift in perception—simple but powerful, because it changes everything.Forgiveness is how we channel the pain for growth. Click To Tweet
The power of forgiveness is that it transforms your connection to and perception of the past, and this grants you another chance to live right here in the present.
The Real Power of Forgiveness Is That it Breathes Life Into Your System
Forgiveness is an acceptance that what has happened has happened, and that the power does not lie in changing the past but in empowering the present.
Hope gives us the courage to look at our past hurts and heal them without being traumatized again. It shows us that blame and resentment are of the ego self—the false self that, when we identify with it, breeds suffering and strengthens separation. Hope allows us to see that forgiveness is a stepping stone to bring us closer to how we want to feel, how we’re meant to be.
Where separation is idealized, the ecstasy of union cannot exist. It’s those moments when we feel so completely connected, surely, that we seem to transcend the limitations that the body places on us, and we can see past the illusions that keep us apart, just out of reach, cut off from this “ever-present energy” that some people talk about. Falling in love is an example.
Let’s try to occupy this space for a moment: A call for love has been sent (for if it’s not an act of love, it’s a call for love on the deepest level). We see how the behavior we’re struggling to forgive was born of such pain, that attack of any kind is a forgetfulness of truth, a fearful projection. Then, we can recognize that we don’t need to forgive the behavior at all: just the soul who has forgotten themselves.
Pain—fear, truly—is the birthplace of everything unloving.Everyone is doing the best they can through their level of consciousness. Click To Tweet
Once you call on that goodness, you start to feel release, a sweeping quality of relief move through you: that’s forgiveness. The presence of release means you’re letting go, breaking the cord while honoring the light.
Though it’s possible, you probably won’t just forgive once and be done with the process; do it for 30 or 40 days, and let it move through you and heal you. You may want to start with an easier practice—someone you might subtly be resenting, and call on what you love about them, share with them; dig up your dormant compassion. There’s a new story you can write here, and you just need to have the desire (maybe not the know-how, but the desire).
Answering the call for love: that is the true, divine power of forgiveness.
- Today, right now, how can you respond to a call for love with an act of love?
- Think of one of your deepest struggles with forgiveness, and consider that it might be your chance for the biggest breakthrough. Even if you don’t know how you’d forgive, are you willing? What desire is there to be free?
Please share any loving perspectives you’ve picked up because you’ve forgiven or have been forgiven, and any hopeful stories with me in the comments.
Honor the light in yourself, and share this post with a fellow human being who is doing the best they can.
Allow yourself another chance to begin again, this time with a little touch of divinity in your very human heart.