Today’s post is just a quick side note—a self-worth manifesto you can take with you for as long as you’d like. Next time you catch your mind working in devious ways, plotting your near-future unhappiness through its negative lens, step back and see what’s available: You have this moment to choose your next thought, your future direction, and your own worthiness.
“So wear your strongest posture now, and see your hardest times as more than just the times you fell but a range of mountains you learned to climb.” — Morgan Harper Nichols
I found myself falling into the same negative thinking patterns that usually lead me down a rabbit hole of lost hope, but luckily I didn’t fall in this time: I climbed. Perhaps not a stroke of luck—I’ve been practicing (for a long time, now) being the witness to my thoughts without identifying with them and immediately falling in line with what they’re telling me is Truth.
Thankfully is probably a better word than luckily.
You know what I was thinking about? The usual: My relationship with time (which I’m actively engaged in healing). There’s a voice in my head that always resorts to the “let’s stress about not having enough time” mode that confidently puts peace on the back burner while the non-pressing non-issue can take the reigns… until I remember who I am and what matters, again.
What do you find yourself stressing about, over and over again? What topics of internal conversation keep coming up for you? Do you notice how redundant the negative patterns can be? Does the stress feel like your truth—feel like who you really are?“The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.” @DrMayaAngelou Click To Tweet
The negativity churning inside my head has this way of pulling me in, and I’m sure you can understand on some level. It turns out that if you stick with something long enough, and believe in what you’re doing, there will be a harvest.
This time, I’m harvesting hope.
I remembered who I was before I fell into a downward spiral of negativity (forgetfulness) that pulled me away from the person I know I can be: Calm; compassionate; playful.
In light of what I remembered, I’d like to mention a few things about self-worth today (things you might already know, but could maybe use some practicing through methods like positive self-talk and mindful, non-judgmental witnessing).
Just in case your memory needs refreshing, here are a few things that your self-worth does NOT hinge on.
A Dozen Things That Do NOT Determine Your Self-Worth
1. Your ability to attend all of the parties and every single gathering you’re invited to.
2. How shiny and smooth your hair is.
3. The limited opinions of others.
4. Your own conditioned thought patterns, which can be changed.“If you don't feel good about you, it's hard to feel good about anything else.” —Mandy Hale Click To Tweet
5. What anyone else is doing or saying (that’s their own self-worth, not yours).
6. The mountains you have to climb.
7. Another’s inability to see you for who you really are (that’s your task, not theirs).
8. The quality of love you receive.Self-worth is intrinsically tied to the love that one gives. Click To Tweet
9. Your individual preferences and the unique nuances of what sets your heart on fire.
11. Doubt, failure, and fear.
12. The love you forgot or chose not to give yourself in the past (even if that was 30 seconds ago).
Please tell me:
- What redundant, negative thought patterns do you catch yourself falling into?
- What’s something you can do today to prioritize what matters and who you know you can be?
- What’s one “thing” that doesn’t determine your self-worth?
Please share your thoughts, self-worth (aka, self-love) practices, insights you’ve picked up along the way, and any inspiring stories of a shift with me in the comments (or in a reply if you’re reading this in your email).
Care about someone? Honor their worthiness by sending them this post.
Remember who you want to be, and remember that you’re connected to that “ideal self” right now. Start practicing, and keep planting new seeds; there will be a harvest.