Friendship is a solid foundation for any relationship and friendliness is a great blessing when life is extraordinarily hard. Keep and carry this relationship advice with you to help you shine your light and be a blessing to others, especially when it’s tempting to be unkind. It’s certainly not always easy to do, but showing up with love, whatever the occasion, is the best way to create a more loving world.
“Because you are, innately, at the highest level, everything, mirroring can work an awesome way. You can choose to either deal with yourself through other people or other people through yourself.” — Teal Swan
Our relationships grant us a beautiful opportunity: we can work on others through ourselves, and we can work on ourselves through others. Though they can be the greatest platforms for pain, relationships also act as the perfect platforms for healing and growth. It depends how we approach and engage with them.
I think we can turn our relationships into platforms for healing and growth by treating them as such.
That’s exactly what this relationship advice is about: approaching others with greater clarity, awareness, and intention so that we can all live happier, healthier lives—together.
I have faith that we can connect with each other without feeling like we need to talk about someone else. I am sure we can serve others without depleting our own well. And I am craving to hear more conversations about what we love.
Rather than blindly reacting to how others live, don’t you think it would feel better to prioritize how you want to live and then give the world more of that?
I’m not offering these bits of relationship advice because I’m an expert in the arena or because I’m perfect, but because I wanted to inspire us all, myself included, to step up and show up with a little more intent and care.
Short and succinct, these messages are meant to be easy to carry around so you can apply them to any conversation and any occasion. Use them as mantras or set up notifications on your phone reminding you to bring the joy and be the love.
Contemplate how to apply this advice if you feel like you could be showing up better for others, and yourself.
20 Digestible Nuggets of Relationship Advice for Every Relationship
1. Prioritize being at peace over being perfect, right, or understood. Start there.
2. Don’t seek proof of your worth in the perceptions of others—it’s not their job to tell you who you are.
3. When you notice you’re about to play the role of judge, be a detective and get intensely curious.
4. Treat people in pain with compassion, not more pain.“If you want to be of greatest value to others, see them as you know they want to be.” — Abraham-Hicks tell a friend
5. Look at the person who is with you now and see them as if for the first or last time.
6. Rather than trying to say the right thing or provide the perfect solution, focus on being fully present with others.
7. Don’t make the little things exhausting. Most arguments aren’t worth the energy we give to them.
8. When you feel hurt, dismantled, closed down, tense, impatient, angry, misunderstood, unloved—consider the love that’s missing and treat the pain as though it’s a call for your love. Love, not despite what you feel but because of what you feel.“I feel that there is nothing more genuinely artistic than to love people.” — Vincent van Gogh tell a friend
9. Before you enter a conversation or walk into a room with other people, take inventory of your internal world. Take care of your own energy first. Set an intention for how you want to be with this person or these people, and what kind of energy you want to bring.
10. Listen to understand, not to reply.
11. In conversation, talk less about your collective fears and pay close attention to your shared dreams.
12. Talk less about yourself. Make your conversations other-focused.“There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who walk into a room and say ‘Here I am’ and those who walk into a room and say, ‘There you are.’” — Unknown Click To Tweet
13. Reach out from a place of love first, and a place of love last. Sandwich any constructive feedback with authentic praise, compliments, admiration, appreciation, or words of affirmation. Before you speak, ask yourself, “Am I coming from a place of love with this?”
14. Reach out for the sole purpose of connection. Rather than reaching out to someone to impart news or request information, do it just because you’re thinking of them. You don’t need a reason to reach out to someone, to start a conversation—love is reason enough.
15. Don’t be too stubborn to say you’re sorry or too proud to admit that you don’t know everything. Open yourself to all possibilities. (It hurts at first, but it’s worth it in the end.)“People grow when they are loved well. If you want to help others heal, love them without an agenda.” — Mike McHargue tell a friend
17. Honor your own perspective and your own experiences before you compare your story to someone else’s.
18. Let go of others’ opinions of you. They’re not yours to hold.
19. If you choose to do something for someone, do it because that’s who you are.
20. Hug more. It’s good for everyone.
What’s one overarching rule you follow for happy and healthy relationships?
Do you have any stories of how a relationship improved after you decided to approach it differently?
Share your own go-to, tried-and-true relationship advice, and any stories of a positive shift with me in the comments. I’d love to hear what works for you!
Share this post with a friend, just because you’re thinking of them.
If it’s dark, turn up your light.