I know for sure that joy flows so much easier when I start loving more, and that love would be incomplete if it didn’t include myself. This “self truth” got me thinking about all the ways I could bring more joy to life just by honoring myself as I am right now. Can you think of any really good reasons to love yourself? Here are three of my own…
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” – Oscar Wilde
Contrary to what some people might tell you, loving yourself is not selfish. It’s truly one of the most selfless acts you can commit. Self-love fills you up, and this love can’t help but spill out into the world around you. That’s how love works; it is in its very nature limitless, and meant to be shared.
If you don’t love yourself, it’s quite possible you’re limiting your capacity to love others.
We’re actually doing others a disservice by denying ourselves love. This doesn’t mean that we can’t give love to others if we don’t love ourselves completely; we shouldn’t wait for the day when we love ourselves perfectly to love others.
Loving each other should never be put on hold.
This is what I’m saying: Don’t put loving yourself on hold, either… Just don’t put love on hold at all.
Sharing love, then, becomes the only way to keep it close. Giving love becomes the only way to receive it again, and that includes giving love to yourself. Withhold love in any realm of your life, and you will certainly feel the absence of love you’ve chosen to focus on.
Basically, we’re “vibrational” transmitters, broadcasting a signal in every moment. We wouldn’t expect to hear music playing on the radio frequency of 96.1FM when our tuner is set at 108FM. The same goes with the energy we’re putting out and picking up on a moment-to-moment basis.
The higher the frequency of our loving thoughts and feelings (and with the steady consistency of those chosen, guided thoughts and feelings), the more readily available love is in our lives. In all manner of ways, love will show up when we show up with love—for ourselves, for each other, in what we do, and in how we live.
If you allow yourself to love yourself as deeply and completely as you’re willing to go, I promise that your entire life will respond.
If you can’t think of any reasons to love yourself as you are, right now, in this place, I invite you to consider these three.
3 Really Good Reasons to Love Yourself
1. Loving Thought Patterns Open Up Loving Alternatives
Your brain seeks out the things that match your repetitive thought patterns. These thought patterns, which harden into beliefs, become your personal truth and the way you live your life, through practice.
Here’s an example:
If you’ve ever had self-image issues concerning any part of your body, try interrupting your hardened thought patterns with something new.
When you catch yourself drifting toward negative thoughts, remind yourself that you’re good enough, right now. Just say it: “I’m good enough.” Setting goals is a good practice, but you can learn to commend yourself as you are.
We unwillingly sabotage our own goals when we strive for them out of self-loathing or disappointment, rather than love.
Practice praising all the things your body has helped you with (like turn food into nourishment so you can live and support new life). That’s pretty awesome. Say, “Thank you for keeping me alive on earth and doing your best with what you’ve been given.”
Committing to this kind of practice will surely open your eyes to the abundance of causes for gratitude, rather than focusing on the moments where you feel less-than in any way.
Your brain is set up to filter the world around you based on your subconscious beliefs so that you can make sense of the world without experiencing information overload. We literally don’t “see” the things we don’t believe are there to see.
When you practice loving yourself, and you get more comfortable tuning into the frequency of that thought and feeling pattern, you’ll discover many “new” reasons to love yourself. Your brain will filter out the things that don’t support this belief—that don’t vibrate at your frequency—and evidence will rush in to support your new preference.
When you view yourself through a more compassionate lens, you’re also less likely to project your fears and insecurities onto those around you. You’re more apt to see and praise the good in others when you see and praise the good in yourself.
2. Self-Love Builds a Compassionate Perspective
Have you noticed how good it feels to think loving thoughts and do good deeds? It’s hard not to notice how painful it is to experience recurring negative thoughts. Yet, for some reason, it has become so hard for so many of us to be kind to ourselves, especially in difficult times.
Though it can be a lot easier to get sucked into the dramas of life and blame ourselves for our misfortune, perhaps blame is a guide that’s trying to lead us back to love.
Loving yourself through the good and bad times builds a more compassionate perspective, toward yourself and others. When you speak kindly to yourself and practice forgiving yourself for any self-defeating thoughts, you give yourself a chance to feel better about your life.
Your good feelings and self-compassionate approach will naturally shift outward, to the world around you.
3. Love for Yourself Naturally Extends to Others
When other people start bashing themselves, I bet you’ll feel more inclined to praise them just as they are. If you’re not so focused on your own insecurities—and are willing to look beyond them to what really matters—you take off your blinders to love; you see with new eyes.
It’s easier to see the amazing qualities in another when your brain is trained to seek the goodness in a person.
I have personally found that focusing on myself has made me a better friend and a better person in general. Focusing on myself has made me want to give the love I’ve received, and giving comes back full circle, leading me to want to give more to myself, and others, and so on.
Self-loathing and self-victimization is not the way to peace in the world. This is a false (and often subconscious) belief to hold: “To get anything we desire, we must condemn what we already have.”
If you want positive change that you love, you must give love first. You must be on the same wavelength of what you want to experience. That is the Law.
- When you truly feel loving towards yourself, how does your life shift and what positive results do you experience?
- Can you think of one time when you felt totally at ease in your own skin, and can you describe that feeling in detail?
Please share your loving thoughts, lessons in extending love without conditions, positive practices that help you feel grateful to be alive as you are, and any inspiring stories of self-love with me in the comments.
Share this post with someone who is worthy of their own love.
You are loved.