Use these positive self-talk alternatives in place of self-depreciating statements. When you feel like beating yourself up, instead turn to something more productive and creative: try loving yourself anyway. Rather than calling yourself names, risk curiosity and be willing to look at yourself through the lens of grace.
“Wouldn’t it be powerful if you fell in love with yourself so deeply that you would do just about anything if you knew it would make you happy? This is precisely how much life loves you and wants you to nurture yourself. The deeper you love yourself, the more the universe will affirm your worth. Then you can enjoy a lifelong love affair that brings you the richest fulfillment from inside out.” — Alan Cohen
Life is a whole lot more fulfilling when I’m not spending my time ruminating on mistakes and doubting what I can do. Not only is that an example of discounting my wounds and avoiding healing, but it’s a boulder that keeps me from moving forward.
You know what’s more productive, and more beautiful? Transforming negative self-talk into new, positive patterns. That doesn’t mean we never have negative thoughts; we don’t need to be perfect to live a fulfilling life. We can practice new patterns. We can learn new skills. We’re creators by nature.
The fall doesn’t matter as much when we believe in the comeback. This is a journey.We can transform negative into positive, which is far different than erasing and replacing. Adopting new patterns isn't magic; it's alchemy. inspire someone
What we focus on intently expands, and focusing on negativity is essentially like fertilizing the weeds in your garden. There’s nothing wrong with being open about struggling with your faults—in fact, that can be quite helpful for growth. Your thoughts and words carry energy, though, and honoring that makes it more likely that you’ll pay attention to what you’re growing.
The question becomes: Is this thought pattern one that you want to increase?
We can’t control everything in this life experience, but we can do the conscious work of exploring new alternatives that shape new realities. In a moment of self-directed negativity, mid-sentence, we can physically pause and ask ourselves, “Is this something I want to increase?”
If we pause long enough to acknowledge what we do and don’t want, we can opt for something more fruitful.
I came up with my own positive self-talk statements to use when I notice myself spiraling downward. I encourage you to come up with your own, but you can certainly use these to lead you into your personal explorations.
Here’s one piece of advice: Don’t make the new self-statement too far from the negative thought, or the mind may not accept it as truth. The goal is to make a slight transition, not burn the whole forest to the ground. The message is that it’s okay to bump up the degree of happiness you experience; nothing to be disappointed about. You are a journey.
I’ve offered a few variations of each positive statement so you and I can switch things up and play with what works best. This also helps to keep us from falling into a routine that feels more like a rut.
Positive Self-Talk: Alternatives to Beating Yourself up and Keeping Yourself Down
Instead of mulling over why you’re unworthy, not good enough, or less-than:
- I love you anyway.
- I still love you.
- I still believe in who you are.
- I still believe in who you can be.
- I believe in who I can be.
- I am loved anyway.
Instead of revisiting mistakes:
- I can do this next thing with love.
- What I do now matters most.
- Right now matters more.
- I choose this next thing from a place of love.
- I recognize the part of me that’s trying to do something healthy.
- I see who I don’t want to be, which helps me to see with greater clarity who I do want to be.
Instead of counting all of your burdens, obstacles, worries, and to-dos:
- Transition “I’m not there yet” to “Actually, I’m one step closer.”
- I am willing to ask for help where I need it.
- I am willing to see this in another light. That’s a good start.
- I am on the right path because it’s bumpy and I’m carving my own way there.
- I don’t know what my purpose is, but I’m curious enough to find out.
- I can figure this out.
- I am ready to learn and grow.
Instead of focusing on lack (time, money, etc.):
- Transition “I don’t have time” to “It’s not a priority.”
- I am focusing on my priorities.
- I’ll try trusting that what I want also wants me, and it won’t get here before I’m ready for it and it’s ready for me.
- I am capable of feeling abundant.
- I am getting closer to what I need.
Instead of admonishing yourself for thinking, speaking, or acting in undesirable ways:
- I appreciate my willingness to acknowledge the truth and choose again.
- Thankfully, I can choose again, starting now.
- I’m proud of you, _______ (your name), for being aware of the detours into fear.
- There’s my assignment to show up with more love. (I honor myself for seeing it.)
- That’s cool that I keep showing up for myself.
Bonus! This is a passage from my book, Sleep Affirmations: “I can be easy on myself. It is possible for me to give myself the courtesy of compassion. It is a practice, and I am willing to participate. Personal struggles are worthy of patience too. I am moving in a better direction now.”
Which positive self-talk alternatives are you using today?
Please share the statements that most resonate with you, what negative patterns you’re transforming, and any stories with me in the comments.
Motivate a friend to try something new; send them these positive self-statements as a show of support.
Risk wonder, enough to see yourself as an alchemist.