Darkness and light can both mean many things depending upon what’s going on in your life. We contain both. I know I do. There’s terror and beauty all at once, and I think that if we don’t banish one, if we don’t choose sides, we can live with both and finally, then, heal. That’s what everything here is all about.
“I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.” — Agatha Christie
I’ve communicated with symptoms of depression, and I know how piercing they can be.
I know how I feel. Sometimes that’s an enlightening gift, other times a moonless midnight—some might call it a “dark night of the soul.” I know my depths of the darkness, and I’ve yet to name what I encounter there, but there’s a light side to me, too, and that’s the side that keeps me going, keeps me alive.
As dense as my sorrow may ever be, I’m eternally and deeply devoted to life. Whether life feels terribly beautiful or beautifully terrible, I simple can’t shake the truth that life is always beautiful. I am learning this, and what was crushing me is now, somehow simultaneously, saving me.
We can be in the presence of pain and, even then, experience a profound appreciation for life. Especially then.I am not looking to escape my darkness. I am learning to love myself there. — Rune Lazuli Click To Tweet
I really think we’re here to enjoy the miracle of existence, if we can just find ways (and courage) to face the pain, not defiantly, but gently.
Writing Is How I Understand the Darkness and Light, Both as Healers
I’m in awe of the beauty of existing, in love with being alive. There’s so much pain sometimes, but there’s a better way to live than feeling consumed by pain. I want the messages I write (which are truly self-soothing guides) to be a lifejacket, if that’s what’s needed, or the lighthouse, but just a truthful reminder of the light in you, too.
Writing is just the way I connect with sacredness, and I just want you to feel like you’re connecting, too, when you’re reading.Listen for the call, the possibility of coming up for air, even in the midst of incredible pain. Click To Tweet
There always seems to be a light in me, no matter painful it feels to be living. It feels easy to be alive when I’m reminded of that light, and so my intention with all I write here is to remind myself of that.
There seems to be another energy in the words that come out, sort of like “I’m not sure where that came from” or “I didn’t know I felt that way.” There’s clarity (perhaps some divine assistance too) in the process of this writing, and in reading the words that were written from that honest place.
I’m writing for me, and I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, so truthfully I’m writing this for us.
We all need a sanctuary when the soul feels lost.
I know, now, that what I’m doing is creating a space for hope to refill us, with only sincerity and from the heart. Everything here is written with love. I know, now, that how I live—how I keep on living—is going to be that message; the work has already begun.
There Is a Way of Living That Honors the Darkness AND Light, but Where the Light Prevails
If I can live with the dark tormenting the light, but also with the devotion to the miracle of being alive, the light will always win. (The light doesn’t really ever lose, I don’t think.) What used to crush me is now saving me, because I am finally learning how to create space for everything, for both sides and all things.
There will be pain, yet we can transcend suffering; extreme pain need not always be intimately associated with extreme suffering. There can be space between the two, maybe a softening and an opening, if there’s close attention and compassion.What is crushing you might be what saves you. Click To Tweet
This is how it feels: If I can do this, I am not the only one. If I can overcome, others can. There is a bigger hope at play.
I hope you consider this space a lifejacket when you want to float instead of sink; these words are an homage; these messages carry love. I’m just trying to be here for myself, and that seems to be just one way I can be here for others.
It’s like this verse from A Course in Miracles: “
There is a way of living in the world that is not here, although it seems to be. You do not change appearance, though you smile more frequently. Your forehead is serene; your eyes are quiet. And the ones who walk the world as you do recognize their own.
I just wonder to myself, and out loud to you: I bet that feels like home, and I think I can find out how to live this way all or most of the time. This is what I want more than anything.
I’d like to see how good this life can feel, can be. I love that feeling, and I want to see how big that can grow in my life. I want to feel at peace on the inside (for real) and I want my outside to reflect what I feel in a way that feels good for everyone.
Can we be in harmony with life, all of it? I think so. I asked myself if I had to choose between the darkness and light, the sorrow and the joy of being alive, and I decided I’d try not choosing sides. I’d just let some space be made. I can come to understand both… What a relief.
We can honor our grief and not feel trapped there. We can be (and contact) a more truthful source light because we know the darkness, and we can even be that light for ourselves.You were assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved. — Unknown Click To Tweet
Your Story Is Important
Of course, there’s nothing special, really, about my message, the way I understand darkness and light—it’s the message many are familiar with, a story many understand. It doesn’t make this message any less important or impactful, though.
Your story is worthy of being shared. Your story is important. Your voice might be the one to make a difference for someone, to inspire a new idea or a new decision. It could be the way you explain something or go about living that really touches the heart of another.
It’s not about having an original message; it’s about having an authentic message. Healing feels sacred when it’s honest. Healing is only possible when you’re honest with yourself.
A wise soul once said to love each other, and to love yourself. Another said that we will rebuild, together. This is why I’m here as I am, with this message and the desire to share it.You, too, are worthy of living lightly, in joy, in the power of your presence. Click To Tweet
What you read here is a deepening devotion to the light side in each of us. Here, you are loved, and you belong. And there is hope.
If you’d like to reach out to me privately, please feel free to send me an email.
Please feel free to share your story, hopeful insights you’ve picked up along the way, or any thoughts about the darkness and light involved in the healing process—with us all in the comments.
If you know someone who would understand, please send them this message.
The darkness and light? It all matters, and it all can become a healing, together.