Wanting to know how to be attractive isn’t a quest reserved for romantic partnerships. We’re attracted to people we want to work with, to companies that resonate with us, to those we think we could be great friends with, and so on, because there’s an energetic quality there that we want to be a part of. Happiness, I think, begets beauty.
“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.” – Sophia Lorn
Attraction isn’t all about physical appearance; a good deal of one’s appeal has to do with their magnetic energy, so to speak. We’re drawn to people not only because they look a certain way, but for their personality and passion.
In my experience, happy people tend to be more emotionally available to connect with others and the world around them, engage others with open body language and a compassionate heart, and boast a humble and strong confidence that lifts others up. These are examples of how happiness begets beauty.
As you contemplate how to be attractive, remember that it’s not so much about the physical shape you’re living in; your internal qualities will always shine through you, and it’s this magnetic pull that has the power to draw in more love.
It’s the light inside of you that breeds beauty in the world.
Being able to hold a space for joy to live and breathe in this world, even and especially when this world is frightening and cold, is an outrageously attractive quality to have. This quality of joy is, I believe, one of the most magnificent gifts we can bestow upon the world.
Whatever you prioritize on the inside, you can trust that the outside will respond.
If you’ve ever wondered how to be attractive, me writing this is proof that you’re far from alone—and the answer is far from superficial. The fact is that deeply, genuinely happy people are naturally attractive. Their positive energy is a magnet others are drawn to, for a myriad of beautiful reasons.
Here are five reasons why I think a consciously happy individual makes such a lovely impact on the world.
How to Be Attractive: 5 Reasons Happy People Light up the Room
1. They value self-responsibility.
Happy people don’t avoid responsibility by blaming other people or circumstances. They take ownership for their life—all of it.
I’ve come to realize that happiness comes to me when I accept responsibility for how my life is unfolding (how I’m experiencing my experiences). After all, whining and blaming doesn’t really feel good in the long run, it doesn’t do much good, and it certainly doesn’t attract much good.
When we’re feeling hopeless and helpless, we can always do one thing: we can focus on what can be changed. We can find solutions and be proactive, because struggle exists for everyone and it’s part of life on earth. Our attitude is our power, and it’s in our control.
Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability (and the willingness) to transform problems into something meaningful—and that is beautiful.
2. They maintain a positive outlook on life.
It’s rare that we’ll always have the “best” of everything (which can mean something different for everyone, since we’re all equipped with the humanly gift of perception). What we have in a material and physical sense is secondary—what we make of what we have, that is to say how much we enjoy it, is primary.
Being able to make this place beautiful is one of my favorite qualities in another person. How attractive is it when someone else can remind you of the beauty of life, especially when you’ve forgotten it?
On the contrary, in my humble opinion, it’s not very attractive to be perpetually negative, refusing to look on the bright side and dampening the surrounding energy. Sure, that happens on occasion for all of us, and it’s not worthy of blame or shame; it’s human.
I think it’s even more appealing when someone owns (and owns up to) their energetic contribution to the world (back to reason #1). It’s hard to be happy 100% of the time, but it’s something divine to be committed to joy even when we get down in the dumps and lose our way. That devotion has major allure.
3. They exude humble self-confidence.
Happy people realize that self-worth is only really found within. They don’t base their self-worth on outside circumstances or achievements, or on the expectations of society and other people. They are constantly practicing the mantra, I am enough.
If you find it hard to believe that you’re worthy of love, consider the idea that you are love. Love is just another name for life, as I see it. Love is present regardless of pain, disappointment, loneliness, rejection, or physical beauty. Love is what’s available to you just because you’re alive.
The only approval you need is your own acknowledgment of your inner light, and when you shine your attention on that light inside of you, others will see how lovely it is.
To be humble in a loud world is confidence, strength, and a great example for others.
There’s something deeply attractive about someone who is humble and confident (not arrogant, that’s not genuine). Though we all have been brushed with insecurity, some more than others, feeling comfortable in one’s own skin is possible for any one of us.
Happiness breeds a certain humble confidence that empowers us to purposefully put ourselves out there. Feeling good and appreciative of our own presence on earth leads us to be transparent and truthful.
Getting in touch with our truth, believing in our dreams and capabilities, embracing our power to choose what we want to experience more of—how can others not want to be around that energy?
4. They practice genuine self-love.
It’s so important to show love to others as much as you can. Giving love is widely considered unselfish, but giving love to ourselves is absolutely not selfish. In fact, giving love to others supports our own happiness, and giving love to ourselves ultimately serves everyone we connect with.
In this sense, “others” are not so separate from you.
Self-love is about genuinely accepting who we are on the inside so that we can show up more fully in the lives of others. When we can truly be ourselves and spread our light, we’ll quickly realize that the light we give is the light we receive.
Try to show up for who you really are, and try to do it with some compassion. Know that wherever you are right now in your life, you can and will keep learning and growing into a more loving, authentic individual, if you only keep choosing to do so.
5. They rise above the drama.
Happy people don’t let what’s going on around them govern their internal state. Of course, they stumble too, but they keep the faith in their ability to get back up again. They remember their capacity to rise above the drama, complaints, and noise of the world so that they can bring something different into the world.
When empathy is called for, those who are living in joy know that they don’t need to lower their energy level to show understanding and compassion. When love is lacking, they do their best to resist the temptation to make jabs at other people, because that’s neither a reflection of nor a magnet for joy.
Talk about what you do want, like, and enjoy—about other people, the situation, and your life. Start a conversation about ideas instead of rumors. Participate in solutions rather than feed the problems.
Trust that others can sense the energy you’re putting out there, and living in.
- What character traits do you value in others, that you would deem attractive?
- If you could define “beauty” in your own words and ways, what would you say it means to you?
Please share your thoughts on happiness and attractiveness, helpful insights from your own experiences, and any inspiring stories with me in the comments.
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You are beautiful on the outside because you are beautiful inside.
Free frame clip art by Angie Makes; lettering by Aim Happy.