Our relationships can be the greatest source of growth and healing, yet they can also be platforms for pain. It depends on how we show up for the relationship. It depends on the other person too, true. Still, the more we show up with a conscious effort of bringing into the relationship the same essence, or quality, of what we’d like to see prosper, the more we receive the kind of love we’ve been hoping for. But, really (and always): the more we receive the kind of love we’ve been giving.
“Be love, so much love, that when others are with you, they are love.” — Abraham Hicks
Of course, it can be challenging to see the light in others, and it’s definitely challenging to treat them like that’s all we see (as Wayne Dyer suggested we do). No matter, it happens to be a genius way to make the world more full of the light.
If you’d like to see more mindfulness, patience, forgiveness, tolerance, and generosity in the world, guess where you need to start? Always within.
Today, write it on your heart that you will receive as you decide to give; then, go give love however you can. It’s pretty empowering, to say the least, when you start to practice the energy you want to live in and then begin to feel its effects seep into every nook and cranny of your life.
Be Love, Because That’s Who You Are.
If you want to be a loving person, don’t be waiting on other people to prove to you how loving you can be. That doesn’t even really make sense, does it? If you want to be a loving person who lives in a loving world, don’t be waiting on the world. Be love, first. That’s the best way to do it—maybe not the easiest, but the most impactful decision you could make is to role model what you’d like to experience more of in the world.
Everyone else in the world doesn’t have to be perfect before you decide to love them. Love them first, and your light ends up bringing theirs to the surface. Even if it doesn’t, you become brighter.
A few examples of how you can be love:
- Instead of telling someone how they should be, ask them how you can help. Replace complaints with intrigue. Respond to frustration with curiosity. Solutions come easier that way and relationships grow stronger that way.
- Forgiving someone who isn’t sorry (that’s strong) because you’re so committed to the energy you bring into the world that you won’t consciously hand over your power to anyone or anything else.
- Forgiving a situation that you can’t go back in time and change (also strong).
- Practicing opposing or challenging perspectives, even and especially when you don’t plan on adopting them. Again, let curiosity and openness win.
- Rather than focusing on what’s missing, focus on appreciating what’s there, what’s right, what’s helpful.
Be Loving Towards Yourself, Because Love Has No End.
Love is a circle.
Have parts of yourself that are desperately needing some more love? Those are the parts to love the most. That’s the mindset that everything is either an expression of love or a call for love; that mindset has served me well. It has made my relationships stronger because it has given me the courage to meet impatience with a deep breath and anger with compassion… especially when the “other” person is myself.
Looking at my wounded parts, fully present and with as little judgment as possible, has been vital to my healing. Showing up for what’s showing up for us is probably the most basic ingredient in healing. That’s how we mend broken hearts and begin to move forward as a whole being, instead of leaving behind the bits and pieces of us we neglected to understand.
Loving yourself doesn’t have to be complicated. It requires that you address your discomfort with compassion and a desire to understand, and that can bring about untold shifts in the way you view yourself (and the world).
A few (of the infinite) examples of how you can let your love go full circle to include yourself:
- Focusing on the emotional experience of what you want to happen/be rather than focusing on what you think you’re lacking.
- Being committed to doing from a place of being. Measuring your success by your energy, by how loving, grateful, and present you feel.
- Using positive “I am” statements. (I have some affirmations for that.)
- Acknowledging how far you’ve come, right in the middle of the journey you’re on, and giving yourself credit where it’s due.
- Being proactive in your relationships, reaching out with appreciation, praise, and kindness. The truth is that we can work on ourselves through others, and we can work on others through ourselves.
You know what takes courage? Authenticity; being yourself. Creativity; expressing yourself. Vulnerability; opening yourself. Resilience; rising again. Compassion; loving deeper. Hope; staying.
Living in love takes courage.
Tell me, because I’d love to know:
- What’s one way you can be love today? And for who?
- What do you want to experience more of in your relationships and in the world? Have you been giving it, honestly, fully, without strings?
Please share your favorite ways to spread love in your world, how you most like to give and receive love, what you’re practicing in your relationships right now, and any wisdom or inspiring stories of a shift with me in the comments.
Be love, starting right now! Send this post to someone and say, “I love you.”
Don’t wait for the flowers to bloom before you decide to offer your light. Rise up and shine, and the petals will unfold.