All emotions are useful and appropriate in the right situation. If you’re ever feeling alone in your thoughts, remember these four things—they’ll serve as reminders that you’re not as alone as you may feel.
Sometimes you have to stand alone to prove that you can still stand.
4 Things to Remember if You’re Feeling Alone
1. Everybody hurts sometimes.
Just as we experience joy, laughter, excitement, and awe, we all experience sadness, anger, shame, confusion, and regret. Happy people hurt, sometimes because of their hurts. The most outgoing and fun-loving people feel pain. Optimists are not immune to low-vibe thoughts.
Everybody hurts sometimes. Nobody lives outside the natural balance of life (the dark and light, ups and downs, yin and yang).
Life can be difficult because it’s perfectly flawed by nature. Challenges and troubles will cross your path no matter who you are. All emotions are a necessary part of life, including our negative emotions—these play a leading role in telling us when something is off, and thus help to guide us away from further hurt.
Listen to what your pain is telling you, but know you’re not alone in feeling it.
2. Everyone is confused.
Life is a sea of endless choices, and we don’t get to live the alternative. How can we really know whether we’ve made the right decision or not? This uncertainty causes a lot of confusion for us all, naturally.
No matter what anybody tells you, nobody goes through life untouched by confusion. We often don’t know who we want to be or who we’re meant to be until we learn to outshine many hardships and tough decisions.
I like to look at it this way: there is no other way. Things would be easier if there was one right way to live life, but the truth is there is no one, right way. There is only the way that manifests: there is only this way.
Whatever you chose was always the only choice you could have or would have made. There is no other way. There is no alternative to live, because it was not meant to be lived by you, at this time, in this place, with this person, or in this way.
You are exactly where you’re meant to be, doing exactly what you’re meant to be doing, at this exact right time in this exact way. What other way is there, really?
3. Everyone feels isolated sometimes.
You can learn to be alone without feeling alone, for solitude is nourishing to the soul; you’ll learn a lot about yourself (and how to enjoy your own company) through it, and you’ll eventually discover the grounding and freeing energy of it.
We don’t necessarily have to be alone to feel lonely, though—we can feel alone when we’re in a crowd or a group of good friends.
The thing to remember here is that we all have our dark shadows, our wounds, and our own ways of and reasons for feeling isolated and separate. That’s why we never know how far our kindness will go, or who our light will touch in which ways.
We never truly know how badly another person is suffering or how deeply in need of love they might be.
Our faith in separation is perhaps the most deeply rooted fear of humanity. We are not as separated as we might think. In the spiritual sense, we can never be apart and we are never alone. We are united beyond the physical sense, beyond what we can logically perceive.
When you have the chance to connect with other people, make the most of the moment. Put your phone down and look into the eyes of the human being right in front of you. Practice attentive listening and try to understand.
We’re wired to connect, and if we bring more purpose and presence to our interactions, loneliness won’t be so quick to creep in.
Bring loving kindness into your connections, and perceive solitude as a chance to nurture awareness and growth.
4. Someone understands.
You are never truly alone in your thoughts.
There’s an electricity that runs through us all, and it connects us in ways that we can’t quite pinpoint, perhaps on purpose. Have you ever somehow known something important happened to a loved one, and it turned out you were right? We are on the same page, even if we can’t quite grasp why or how.
Of the billions of people in the world, there is someone who shares your thoughts, feelings, experiences, doubts, beliefs, and hopes. There are people—either right now, at some point in the history of humankind, or at some point in the future—who understand you completely. Do not doubt that.
This thought can seem distant at first, but I’ve found it to be more comforting the more I’ve contemplated it. I know it’s true. We’re all made of the same stuff, so how can it not be? Just because we can’t fully understand the mystery of life, doesn’t mean we can’t know the truth on some level that all is well with the soul.
Trust that you are understood. Trust that you are not alone.
- Are you willing to embrace any of these sentiments?
- When you’re feeling alone, what thoughts or practices help you feel better?
- Can you remember a time when you felt alone and learned that you were, in fact, understood?
Please share your own thoughts, helpful insights, lessons, and stories with me in the comments.
Share this with someone who may need a little comfort today.
Remember, you are never alone in your thoughts. If you feel alone right now, consider this a golden opportunity to prove to yourself that you can still stand.
Free watercolor clip art by Angie Makes; lettering by Aim Happy.